In 2004 I was the fat girl who pretended to be happy all the time. My hair was flame red to draw attention from my body and my smile stretched from ear to ear…and my clothes stretched to fit my frame. It’s expensive to find decent clothes on a college budget. I was more interested in wings with friends and late night Chinese food take out while studying and making lesson plans to student teach.
I’d tried everything to lose weight. Fad diets, crash diets, no diets, and the stupidest diets of them all. None of it worked and I blamed the medications I take for Bipolar Disorder.
I was the typical before picture but I’d never believe I would be a constantly changing after today.
I don’t keep many before pictures because I hated every one. I offered to take all the photos and tried to hide my body behind others when forced into the picture. In high school I weighed approximately 205 pounds and thought I was huge. I wasn’t happy with me. But I do have a few that some wonderful friends have scanned and shared on Facebook much to my chagrin.
By college graduation I was over 240 and stopped weighing myself. Each time it was more depressing. I was a yo-yo…up and down. I don’t have a photo of me at my highest weight.
When I finally decided to lose weight I dropped 80 pound fast. In six months I didn’t even recognize myself.
When I started seminary food was free and class and stress left little time to exercise. I regained 15 pounds before I knew it. I joined Weight Watchers with friends and despite a major back problem I lost 125 pounds.
At my wedding I felt amazing and gorgeous. It was the princess fairytale girls dream of even though I was too busy climbing trees.
On my wedding day the dress was TOO BIG!
I bought it nine months prior to the wedding when I was 35 pounds heavier. The seamstress did not adjust the seams and I almost had a wardrobe malfunction. Some fancy pin placements by one of my lovely bridesmaids literally covered my butt.
After several health problems I’m up 25 pounds from my healthiest weight. I am constantly changing. I would say before “I’m a constantly changing after.” For me being an after isn’t hitting certain number on a scale but proving to my body daily I can and will work to be the healthiest I can be.