Is there such a thing as having a good personality? Can you really change your personality? For starters, personality, or the typical pattern of thinking, behaviors and personal uniqueness, can indeed be changed. So yes, you could change what you are. You could become a better you, a person you can feel proud of and confident in. But then, how can you turn a personality you have lived with for the whole of your life?
It takes Time to Change
They say that change is constant, but then it takes time to change any part of your personality. With this in mind, take as much time as you may need to reflect about your life. Even if you are a busy person, look for time to reflect about the different things in your life that have been hurting your relationship with yourself or with others. In any case, you probably will never implement any of the following tips if you can’t get the time think about your life and what you need to change.
Step One: Accept Change
As some scientists say, change starts with the desire to be different. It is the internal dilemma that you must conquer first before implementing any new behaviors or ways of thinking. It is your life after all, and no one can possibly force you to change. Note however that making a decision to change is never easy. You will face a lot of dilemmas; mostly because you probably feel hopeless or you probably don’t see what’s wrong with some things that have been affecting your life. Maybe you probably love to argue for instance, but you will definitely need to change that part of you if it has been affecting your career. As such, think about the positives that will come after you change something in your life, and then work towards changing it altogether.
Step Two: Take Responsibility
Why do you want people to stop labeling you as uncooperative? Do you think everyone has been picking on you? Well, maybe people aren’t always fair. However, you must take most of the responsibility in your life if you are to change your personality. Simply create the desire to be a cooperative person for instance, stop blaming everyone else who call you uncooperative and change for the better. If you blame you parents for your hot tempered nature on the other hand, stop it. Accept that no one is wholly responsible for all the mistakes and misdeeds in your life. Instead, take responsibility that you may have failed to change earlier, but then again work towards changing.
Step Three: Develop Self-empowering Beliefs
If you’ve already taken all responsibility for the things you need to change; you probably have already developed your cause. Your cause in life includes the most valuable principles you hold deep within you. Everyone has them, as they lie beneath any other personality we have developed over the cause of life. And once you know what values you ought to have in life, start filling your mind with empowering beliefs. Replace “I can’t be humble” with “I will….” Change “I have always been this way” with “I must become a better person.”
Step Four: Develop Positive Habits
What is the whole point of being a different person if you can’t quit all your bad habits? Your habits are what probably broke your marriage or dragged your career down in the first place. Identify them, and quit all of them. But don’t stop there. Look for new habits you wish to be identified with in the future. In fact, you can make your transitioning process easier by switching to new habits even before you completely quit the old ones. For instance, if your addiction to TV and the Internet is affecting your social life, why not join a social group?
Step Five: Stick to the new Habits
Change is only difficult in the beginning. It is like moving to a new workplace. It feels weird for the first few days and weeks, but then you get adapted to the new life. However, later you may realize that the new environment and new place is better than where you’ve always been. Similarly, changing your personality won’t be an easy process at first. However, maintain your momentum and desire to change. Stick to all the new habits you vowed to embrace in your life. After some time, you will feel proud and confident in the new personality you have developed.
Finally, you can think of looking for a mentor to guide and support you as you embrace your new personality. Alternatively, hook up with friends who share your new personality and remain loyal to them. Again, love to remain modest and positive at all times. But most importantly, promote the good parts of you that you now want people to identify you with.